Love, Prayer, and Providence

EPHES.

6.#

4.And ye Fathers prouoke not your children to wrath, but bring them vp in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.#

NExt to childrens, follow Parents duties, which the Apostle layeth down in this fourth verse: where he noteth,

1.The duties;#

2.The parties#

1.That are to performe the duties, Fathers.;#

2.To whom they are to be performed, Children.#

The duties are set downe,

1.By prohibition.;#

2.By precept.#

The prohibition noteth out one extreme, which is ouermuch rigour, (Prouoke not to wrath)

The inference of the precept vpon the prohibition noteth out another extreme, which is ouer-much-remisnesse.

The precept it selfe enioyneth to parents three duties.

1.To nourish children, namely with food, apparrell, and other like necessaries (Nourish them.);#

2.To nurture them, namely with good discipline (In nurture.)#

3.To instruct them, namely in the waies of God (And admonition of the Lord.)#

Nature teacheth Vnreasonable Creatures to doe the First; Ciuility Reasonable Men Second; Piety Christians Third.

To these heads may all the seuerall points which I shall deliuer concerning parents duties, be referred.

That Parents may the better discerne how one dutie followeth another, I will proceed in this order.

1.The fountaine of all duties, shall be declared.;#

2.The streames that issue thence,#

The streames shall be diuided into two riuers.

In the first are those generall duties that are continually to be done.

In the second, such particular duties as are to be applied to the seuerall ages of children.

There are two principall generall duties.

1.Faithfull prayer to God.;#

2.Vpright walking with God.#

All the particulars may be comprised vnder this one head, A prouident care. And this hath respect,

1.To the Infancy of children,;#

2.To their Youth,;#

3.To the time of their placing forth,;#

4.To the time of parents departing out of this world.#

The Fountaine of parents duties is Loue. [Note 1] This is expresly enioyned to them. Many approued examples are recorded hereof: as [Note 2] Abrahams, [Note 3] Isaacks, [Note 4] Rebekahs, and others.

Great reason there is why this affection should be fast fixed in the heart of parents towards their children. For great is that paine, paines, cost, and care, which parents must vndergoe for their children. But if loue be in them, no paine, paines, cost, or care, will seeme too much. Herein appeareth the wise prouidence of God, who by nature hath so fast fixed loue in the hearts of parents, as if there be any in whom it aboundeth not, he is counted vnnaturall. If loue did not abound in parents, many children would be neglected and lost. For if parents look not to their children, who will? If none looke to them, they must needs perish: for they are not able to helpe themselues. As God by nature hath planted loue in all parents, so Christians ought euen for conscience sake, to nourish, increase, and blow vp this fire of loue, that they may thereby be made more forward to doe euery duty with cheerefulnesse. The more feruent loue is, the more readily will euery duty be performed. [Note 5]

Obiect. As too much fire is dangerous, so too much loue. Answ. True. Wherefore as in other things, so in this, the golden meane must be kept. No dutie so holy and necessarie, ⟦G1⟧ut may be peruerted. Let the extremes be auoided, and the meane will better be kept.

The extreme contrary to loue in the defect is want of naturall [Note 6] affection, which is reckoned in the [Note 7] catalogue of notorious ⟦G2⟧nnes. Though loue of children be by nature engrauen in mans heart, yet many cleane put it out through couetousnesse, ⟦G3⟧st, vaine-glory, superstition, idolatry, and other vices: whereby it commeth to passe that in stead of the good which they ⟦G4⟧ould doe for their children, they bring much mischiefe vpon ⟦G5⟧hem. Some spare not the pretious life of their children. Among these, barbarous idolaters doe most exceed in this kinde of vnnaturall cruelty, sacrificing their children, and offering them vp to deuils. To this the great bloud-sucker Satan of old brought not only the heathen, who being ignorant of God did seruice to the diuell, but also the [Note 8] Israelites to whom Iehouah the true God made himselfe knowne, and expresly [Note 9] forbid this cruelty, and that [Note 10] vnder paine of death. Behold how superstition and idolatry blinde the eies of men. [Note 11] They who haue beene among the Sauadges in Virginea, Florida, India, and other like places testifie that such cruelty is vsed to this day. And it is rendred as a maine reason why, notwithstanding such spacious places as they haue, they increase no more in multitude, because many of their children from time to time are offered vp in sacrifice.

Reasonable men herein shew themselues more vnreasonable then vnreasonable beasts, which doe what possibly they can to preserue their young ones.

Though not so high, yet too high on this ladder of vnnaturalnesse [Note 12] doe they climbe, who hate their children, and that (which maketh the sin to be out of measure sinful) for piety and integrity; as many Popish and profane parents, who haue children truly religious: and in that respect ought so much the more to be loued.

The extreme in the excesse is too much doting vpon children: [Note 13] as they doe who so vnmeasurably loue them, as they make reckoning of nothing in comparison of children. Euen God himselfe is lightly esteemed, his worship neglected, his word transgressed, all dutie to others omitted, their owne soules forgotten thorow care of children. Is not this mee⟦G6⟧ apish kindnesse? for Apes kill their young ones with hugging. This is no loue, but plaine dotage. But what may be said of those that are so hellishly enamoured with their children as to commit incest or buggery with them?

The first and best streame which issueth out of the forenamed fountaine of loue is faithfull and feruent prayer. This extendeth it selfe to all things, at all times, thorowout the whole course of the childes life. It is the first and it is the last dutie which parents ought to performe to their children: [Note 14] euen that which they must doe without intermission; Pray without ceasing.

Though praier be a generall dutie which all Christians owe [Note 15] one to another, yet after a peculiar manner doth it appertaine to parents: and of all others they are most bound to it. For the promise which God maketh to a parent is extended to his seed and children, as these and such like Scriptures shew, [Note 16] I will be thy God, and the God of thy seed: [Note 17] That it may be well with them and with their children: [Note 18] The promise is vnto you, and vnto your children. Parents therefore with most assurance of faith may call vpon God for their children. For Gods promise is the ground of faith: so farre as Gods promise is extended, so farre our faith may and ought to extend it selfe. Hence hath arisen the commendable custome of childrens asking [Note 19] their parents blessing: which intimateth a desire that parents would pray for Gods blessing on them.

This dutie of praier must be performed before parents haue children (that they may haue some, as [Note 20] Isaak, [Note 21] Annah and others did [Note 22] ) and so soone as children are conceiued, especially if they obserue them to be quicke in the wombe (as [Note 23] Rebekah did) and againe when they are borne (as [Note 24] Zachariah did) and thorowout the whole course of their life (as [Note 25] Iob did) and when they are going out of this world, and leauing their children (as [Note 26] Isaak did.)

There is no one thing wherein and whereby parents may doe more good for their children, then in and by true praier. God hath sanctified praier as a meanes to receiue all needfull blessing from himselfe the fountaine of all blessing. If therefore Gods blessing be of vse to children (what Atheists are they that beleeue it not?) then also is praier by which it is obtained.

The very neglect of this dutie is a sinne contrary to the dutie [Note 27] it selfe: and many parents there be that stand guilty of this sinne. Some thinke it needlesse to pray for a childe before it be borne, not considering that in sinne it is conceiued. When it is borne they referre this dutie to the midwife, whereas it properly appertaineth to the father. After it is growne to any ripenesse, they put it off to the childe to pray for it selfe. And when they are on their death-bed, they thinke it enough if they can pray for their owne soules. Such parents shew little true loue to their children: but lesse faith in God.

But what may we say or thinke of such impious parents as [Note 28] feare not to make fearefull imprecations against their children? God oft in wrath and vengeance heareth such imprecations to the woe of parent and childe: whereby he sheweth his great indignation against them for the same.

Another generall branch proceeding from parents loue to their children, is, that for their childrens sake they endeauour to walke vprightly before God, and to please him. This I doe the rather note, because I finde the reward promised to righteous parents to be extended vnto their children [Note 29] The generation of the righteous shall be blessed, saith Dauid. And Salomon, [Note 30] Blessed shall his children be after him: and againe, [Note 31] The good man shall giue inheritance vnto his childrens children. [Note 32] This motiue is therefore vrged by the holy Ghost to prouoke parents vnto all righteousnesse.

Thus doth the Lord extend the reward of righteous parents vnto their children to shew his great good liking, and high approbation of righteousnesse. Reade for this purpose, 1 King. 11.

34.& 2 King. 10. 30.#

1.Obiect. [Note 33] The righteousnesse of the righteous shall be vpon himselfe. Answ. That is meant rather of a mans personall righteousnesse, and grace it selfe which is not communicated to children, then of the fruit thereof: That faith in Christ, feare of God, obedience to Gods word, or any other personall grace which is in righteous parents, shall not iustifie or saue their children. For the iust shall liue by his owne faith. Yet this hindereth [Note 34] not but that the benefit and blessing of righteous parents may fall vpon their children according to the extent of Gods promise.#

2.Obiect. By experience we finde it verified, that the children of some righteous parents are cursed: and the Scripture giueth vs many examples thereof: as [Note 35] Cain, [Note 36] Cham, [Note 37] Absolom, and others like them.#

1.Answ. Such children by their vnworthy, and degenerat cariage make forfeiture of Gods couenant and [Note 38] so depriue themselues of the benefit thereof.#

2.Answ. Many good reasons may be giuen why God should sometimes alter his course, and with-hold his blessings from the children of his seruants. As#

1.Lest Gods gifts and blessings should otherwise seeme to come rather by naturall propagation from the parent, then by free donation from God.#

2.Lest parents should thereby be drawne to neglect the meanes of good education.#

3.Lest children also themselues, trusting too much to their parents righteousnesse, should take too much liberty, and waxe licentious.#

4.Lest Gods free election should seeme hereby to be restrained.#

3.Obiect. If this be so, what motiue can it be vnto parents to labour after righteousnesse for their childrens sake? Answ. Though God doe reserue in himselfe a freedome to order his blessings as it pleaseth him, and to bestow them vpon whom he will: and thereupon sometimes blesseth the childe of a wicked parent (instance [Note 39] Hezekiah) & denieth his blessing to the childe of a righteous parent (instance [Note 40] Ammon) yet in that it is a very vsuall course with him to extend his blessing (according to his promise) to the children of the righteous, it is a strong motiue to such as desire the good of their children, the rather for their childrens sake to endeauour after righteousnesse: for thus doe they vse the meanes which by Gods word is warranted and sanctified for procuring Gods blessing to their children. Leaue therefore a good memory to thy children rather then much wealth.#

Contrary is the course of such parents as by vnrighteous meanes thinke to prouide well for their children. For many doe not only too carkingly, and distrustfully moile and toile to scrape together great masses of money, or great store of land, or other stockes for their children, neglecting duties of piety and mercy, but also by vniust and wrongfull courses defraud others to make their children rich. So common is this vndue course of prouiding for children, as thence hath arisen this prouerbe, Happy are those children whose parents goe to the deuill. A cursed prouerbe. For what other thing can it intend, but this, that they who feare not God, nor take care for their owne saulation, will haue most respect to the outward estate of their children, and be most carefull to make them great, and rich in this world? Wherein note how many waies they bewray their notorious folly.

1.They preferre the outward estate of their children before the eternall saluation of their owne soules. Yea and before God himselfe.#

2.They place the happinesse of their children in the goods of this world; [Note 41] then which nothing more vaine.#

3.They make themselues drudges to their children, and so debase themselues below that dignity which by reason of Gods image on them, appertaineth to them.#

4.They with much paines, care, griefe, and feare are long gathering that which their children in short time most riotously and prodigally will lauish out.#

5.They make themselues vassals to Satan and seeke by him to be made rich: whereas indeed [Note 42] it is the blessing of God that maketh rich. Thus they take a wrong course to get wealth. If it be said that many are thus made rich, I answer, that as [Note 43] God gaue a King to Israell, so he giueth wealth to them, in wrath: and in wrath will he take it away.#

6.They bring Gods curse into their house, and leaue it vnto their children: So as these are the riches that are reserued to the owners thereof for their euill. Let not therefore care for children draw thee to any coueteous or vniust courses: but know that he who made thy sonne made thee also, and he who affoorded thee meanes of nourishment, will also affoord thy children sufficient succour.#

The head, whereunto all the particular duties, which parents owe to their children, may be referred, is A prouident care for their childrens good. This extendeth it selfe to all times, and to all things.

To all times, as to the infancie, youth, and man-age of their children: and that not only while parents liue, but after their departure.

To all things, namely, tending both to the temporall good of their children, and also to their spirituall good.

Children are of the very substance of their parents, & therefore ought parents so farre to seeke their childrens good as their owne.

The patternes of holy parents recorded and commended in Scripture, doe liuely set forth this prouident care.

But this generall we will exemplifie in the particulars: and in order declare how parents must prouide both for the temporall, and also for the spirituall good of their children in euery degree of their age.

They who at any time in any thing are negligent and carelesse of their childrens good, offend in the contrary to this generall dutie. The heinousnesse of which offences will appeare in the particulars.