Admonition and Correction

The meanes of helping forward the good worke of nurture [Note 1] are especially two.

1.Frequent admonition.;#

2.Due correction.#

Both of them are implied in this text: one in the word translated admonition, which (according to the notation of the [Note 2] Greeke word) is a putting of a thing into the mind, an vrging and pressing of it: the other in the word translated nurture. [Note 3]

Now both these are to be ioyned together, as being very helpfull each to other. For admonition without correction is like to proue but meere vanity: and correction without admonition will be too much austerity.

The dutie which the first of these setteth forth, is this,

Parents must oft whet instruction vpon their children: they [Note 4] may not thinke it enough to tell their children what they ought to doe, but to instruction they must adde admonition: and, as it were, beat into their childrens heads the lessons which they teach them: that so they may make a deeper impression in their hearts. Thus shall their instructions be like the words of the wise which are as nailes fastened, or fast knocked [Note 5] in: they remain firme where they are once fastened, and cannot easily be pluckt out: for as many blowes doe knocke a naile vp to the head (as we speake) so many admonitions doe settle good instructions in a childes heart, and cause that the heart be established in that which is taught, [Note 6] which is a thing to be laboured after. The generall exhortation of being [Note 7] instant in season and out of season may be applied to this purpose: but more pertinently that [Note 8] direction which is in particular giuen to parents of whetting Gods words vpon their children.

To this purpose is it that Solomon vseth to double his instructions, and vrge them againe and againe, as [Note 9] heare the instruction, forsake not the law: [Note 10] receiue my words, hide my commandements within thee: incline thine eares, apply thy heart, &c. yea of the repeateth the very same precepts.

The apprehension of children is fickle, and their memory weake: if they be but once, or seldome, or sleightly instructed, that which is taught will soone slip away, and doe little or no good.

For the better performing of this dutie, parents must thinke of the best meanes they can to fasten their instructions vpon their children: and obserue their inclination and disposition, and see with what they are most moued. Constant exhortations, and powerfull perswasions are comprised vnder admonition, which in their kindes, as occasion requireth, are to be vsed.

Contrary is the practise of those parents who soone waxe weary in instructing their children. The Apostle laieth it downe as a generall caueat in good duties that we wax not [Note 11] weary: if in no good thing we must wax weary, shall parents wax weary in doing good to their children? Yet how many be there that hauing once taught their children, thinke they haue done dutie enough in that kinde: if their children will take it, they may. They are loth to take too much paines in often vrging the points which they haue taught them.

Thus that teaching vanisheth away: and so it falleth out, as we say in the prouerbe, as good not at all as neuer the better. This is one point wherein old Eli failed: for he gaue very good instruction to his children: but because he there staied, neither was that accepted of God as a sufficient discharge of his duty, nor were his children any whit bettered thereby. If this were a fault in him notwithstanding his children were come to yeares of discretion, and to ripenesse of vnderstanding, how much greater is the fault in those whose children are but young?

Obiect. If a childe take not instruction at first, he is but of an vntoward and peruerse disposition: all the paines that can be taken will be lost. Answ. It may be childishnesse rather then peruersnesse, or some imperfection, rather then obstinacy. Considering the necessity of good nurture, no paines may be thought too much. There is more peruersenesse, and vntowardnesse i⟦G4⟧ such parents as wax weary in doing this dutie, then in such children as at first are not wrought vpon: for this is a means ordained of God to cure this vntowardnesse.

The other meanes of helping nurture is correction.

Which is of two sorts; Verball, by Words.; Reall, Blowes.

The former is reprehension: and it must alwaies goe before the latter, which is most vsually and properly called Correction.

Reprehension is a kinde of middle thing betwixt admonition and correction: it is a sharpe admonition, but a milde correction.

It is the rather to be vsed because it may be a meanes to preuent strokes and blowes, especially in ingenuous, and good natured children (for [Note 12] a reproofe entereth more into him that is wise, then a hundred stripes into a foole) and because it may be vsed, when it is not so meet to vse strokes and blowes: as when children are growne to man-age.

The many good fruits which the holy Ghost noteth to proceed from due reproofe doe shew that it is a dutie whereof parents ought to make conscience as they desire to promote the good of their children: and so much the rather because many good fruits redound to the parents that reproue, as well as to the children reproued. In regard of their good who are reproued, it is said, [Note 13] Reproofes for instruction are the way of life: they cause [Note 14] vnderstanding; and make [Note 15] prudent. In regard of their good who reproue, it is said, [Note 16] To them that rebuke shall be delight (that is, much comfort and matter of reioycing, so as they shall not need to repent what they haue done) and a blessing of good shall come vpon them, that is, either a blessing of good men, who will blesse, praise and commend them: or a blessing of good things, and that from the Lord who will reward them for this conscionable performance of their dutie.

Vpon these grounds [Note 17] holy men haue not spared to rebuke their children as there was occasion. Though [Note 18] Eli did somewhat in this duty, yet because he was not more seuere therein, ⟦G6⟧he brought destruction both vpon himselfe and his children.

The direction noted §.

40.and#

47.and Treat.#

4.§.#

35.may be here applied.#

Contrary is their too much doting on children, who are ⟦G7⟧oth to giue them a foule word. Dauid (though otherwise a ⟦G8⟧very wise man) herein manifested much folly, for he displeased ⟦G9⟧ot Adoniah at any time in saying, why hast thou done so? and like enough it is, that also he so cockered his other rebellious sonne Absolom. Note the fearefull issue that followed thereupon both to father and children. Though their father would not displease them, yet they cared not to displease their father, yea to grieue his heart, and vex his soule. The like may all foolish doting parents looke for at their childrens hands. For first parents by neglect of this dutie highly displease God: therefore in iust reuenge will God giue their children ouer to [Note 19] displease and vex them. Secondly, neglect of reproofe is a meanes to make children rude, presumptuous, rebellious, and so carelesse to please their parents. Yea all things where in children offend through want of education shall be required at their parents hands.

The latter and more proper kinde of correction which is by stripes and blowes is also a meanes appointed by God to helpe the good nurture and education of children. It is the last remedy which a parent can vse: a remedy which may doe good when nothing else can.

It is by the holy Ghost both expresly commanded, and also very oft pressed vnder these and such like phrases, [Note 20] Ch⟦G10⟧sten thy sonne: [Note 21] correct thy sonne: [Note 22] with-hold not correction from the childe: [Note 23] thou shalt smite him with the rod. Were there no other motiue, this were sufficient. Gods charge was such a motiue to Abraham, as at it he would haue sacrificed his sonne: [Note 24] and wilt not thou at Gods command correct thy childe?

It is further commended by Gods owne example, which is not only set forth in some particular instances, but by his generall constant dealing with all, and that as an especiall token and fruit of his loue. For whom the Lord loueth he chasteneth, [Note 25] and scourgeth euery sonne whom he receiueth. If ye be without chastisement wherof all are partakers, then are ye bastards and not sonnes. Let this example of God be well weighed, for it is of great weight. Who can better tell what kinde of dealing is fittest for children then God? Who can better nurture children then God? Who doth more truly aime at, and procure the good of children then God? Yea who doth more tender children then God? If God the father of spirits in wisdome and loue thus deale with his children, fathers of the flesh may not thinke by the contrary to shew wisdome or loue. Their wisdome will be folly, their loue hatred. Vpon these grounds it is taken for a thing granted, that parents (who tender the good of their children as they should) doe chastise their children as need requireth: for it is said, that the [Note 26] Lord correcteth whom he loueth, as a father the sonne in whom he delighteth. If parents vsed it not, this were no good inference to say, as a father: againe, as a thing without controuersie it is said, [Note 27] we haue had fathers of our flesh which corrected vs.

The grounds of the equitie of this dutie, respect partly the [Note 28] children corrected, and partly the parents that correct. In regard of children, it freeth them from much euill, and worketh in them much good.

Correction is as physicke to purge out much corruption [Note 29] which lurketh in children, and as a salue to heale many wounds and sores made by their folly. In which respect Solomon saith, that [Note 30] Foolishnesse is bound in the heart of a childe, but the rod of correction shall driue it farre from him: and againe, [Note 31] The blewnesse of a wound is a purging medicine against euill: so doe stripes the inward parts of the belly. In regard of the inward operation of this physicke, correction is further said to preserue a childe from death, ( [Note 32] if thou beatest him he shall not die) and that not only from temporall death (as many children are thus preserued from the Magistrates sword) but also from eternall death ( [Note 33] thou shalt deliuer his soule from hell.) Note this ye cockering parents, whose ouer-much lenitie is very great crueltie. For may we not iustly count him a cruell parent, that should suffer diseases, boiles, sores, and wounds to remaine, increase, and fester in his childe, and giue him no physicke, nor apply any plaisters, or medicines to him? Nay rather who seeth his sonne running into a flaming fire, or deepe water, and would not hold him backe? Euen so cruell, and more cruell are they, who suffer their children to runne on in euill, rather then correct them.

Obiect. Who can endure to make his owne childe smart, and to put him to paine? Answ. The future fruit is more to be considered, then the present paine. Potions, pills, and corasiues, are fulsome, bitter, and painfull; but because there is a necessitie of vsing them, and great mischiefe is preuented by the vse of them, wise parents will not forbeare them for the sensible bitternesse, and paine. Fitly doth the Apostle thus answer that obiection, No chastning for the [Note 34] present seemeth to be ioyous, but grieuous; neuerthelesse, afterward it yeeldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousnesse. This may be applied to parents corrections as well as to Gods. The good which correction bringeth to children, is by Solomon noted in this and such like phrases, The rod giueth wisdome: [Note 35] for it maketh children obserue, what is good, and what euill; what commendable, and what blame-worthy: and accordingly to doe the good, and leaue the euill, which is a great point of wisdome.

Obiect. Instruction will better doe this. Answ. Instruction may giue them more knowledge, but it is correction which bringeth them to practise what they know, which is the [Note 36] chiefest point of wisdome. In regard of parents, due correcting of their children both freeth them of many inconueniences, and also bringeth to them [Note 37] much quiet.

1.It spareth them much paines. For many admonitions oft repeated, and inculcated againe and againe, will not make many children so much to heed wholsome and good aduice, as a little correction. They are much more sensible of smart, then of words.#

2.It preuenteth much griefe, shame, and vexation: for [Note 38] a foolish sonne is a griefe to his father, and bitternesse to her that bare him. But it is [Note 39] the rod of correction that driueth away foolishnesse, and so preuenteth that griefe and bitternesse.#

3.It freeth them from the guilt of their childrens sinne, so as they are not accessarie thereto, as [Note 40] Eli was. For correction is the last remedie that a parent can vse: if by that he can doe no good, it is presupposed that he hath done his vttermost endeuour: in which respect, though the childe die in his sinne, yet the parent hath deliuered his owne soule. The quiet which is brought to parents by correcting their children, is thus noted out by Solomon, [Note 41] Correct thy sonne, and he shall giue thee rest, yea he shall giue delight vnto thy soule. For children well nurtured, and by correction kept in a filiall awe, will so carrie themselues, as their parents may rest somewhat secure, and not disquiet themselues (as they doe with children set at libertie) yea, as trees well pruned, and ground well tilled, they will bring forth pleasant and abundant fruit; and so their parents will haue iust cause to reioyce in them.#

For well vsing this biting corasiue of correction, parents must haue respect to the matter for which they doe correct, and to their manner of correcting.

In regard of the matter, these three things must be noted. [Note 42]

1.That they be sure there is a fault committed: that so there be iust cause of correcting: else more hurt then good will proceed from thence. If a corasiue be laid where there is no sore, it will make one. If correction be vniustly giuen, it may prouoke to wrath, but will doe little good. This is it wherein earthly fathers are taxed, and made vnlike to God, for that many times they correct after their owne pleasure: which is a point of great iniustice. [Note 43]#

2.That the fault be made knowne to the childe corrected: and he apparantly conuinced thereof. Correction must be for instruction, which cannot be, except the childe know why he is corrected: for it is all one to him, as if he were corrected for no fault, if he know not his fault. God thus a first proceeded with the serpent, [Note 44] with Eue, and with Adam. Thus Iudges proceed in punishing malefactors. Yea thus will men deale with a dog. Should they not much more with a childe?#

3.That the faults be such especially, as the parents can shew to their children (if at least they be of so much discretion) to be against Gods word; as swearing, lying, pilfring, and the like: for#

1.these are most dangerous faults, and therefore more carefully to be purged out.#

2.the childe corrected will thus be the better euicted of his fault, the more condemne himselfe, and more contentedly beare the correction.#

In regard of the manner of correcting, foure generall, and foure [Note 45] particular rules are to be obserued.

The generall rules are these.

1.An eye must be had to Gods manner of correcting his children, and in particular of Gods correcting the parent himselfe: no better generall direction can be giuen: for Gods patterne is a perfect rule.#

2.Prayer must be made by parents for themselues and for their children: for themselues, to be directed in doing it: for their children, to be bettered by it. Thus will good Physitians in ministring physicke. In all duties is prayer to be vsed; especially in this: for a parent is ready, partly through his owne intemperate passion, and partly through the childs impatiencie, to fall into one extreme or other. This is not to impose vpon all, whensoeuer they take vp the rod, to goe and make a solemne prayer, but to lift vp the heart for direction and blessing.#

3.Correction must be giuen in loue. All things must be done in [Note 46] loue: much more this, that carieth a shew of anger and hatred. In loue they will giue physicke to their children, and splinter a ioynt, if need be. God correcteth his children in loue: so must [Note 47] parents. Loue will make them doe it with tendernesse and compassion.#

4.Correction must be giuen in a milde moode, when the affections [Note 48] are well ordered, and not distempered with choler, rage, furie, and other like passions. Disturbed passions cast a mist before the vnderstanding, so as a man cannot discerne what is enough, what too much. When passion is moued, correction must be deferred. God correcteth in measure.#

The particular rules are these.

1.Due order must be kept. Correction by word must goe before correction by the rod. [Note 49] I rebuke and chasten, saith the Lord. Thus a parent will shew that he taketh no delight in smiting his childe: it is necessitie that forceth him thereunto. Thus a parent sheweth himselfe like to God, who doth not punish willingly, Lam. 3.#

33.Physitians, when they minister strong physicke, will giue a preparatiue: rebuke may be as a preparatiue. Good and pitifull Chirurgions will try all other meanes before they come to launce and seere.#

2.Due respect must be had to the partie corrected: if he be young and tender, the lighter correction must be vsed. Solomon oft mentioneth a rod, as meetest for a childe; for that is the lightest correction. So if the childe be of a flexible and ingenuous disposition, soone sneapt, the correction must accordingly be moderated. If he be well growne, and withall be stout, and stubborne, the correction may be more seuere.#

3.Due respect must be had to the fault: Sinnes directly [Note 50] against God, open, notorious, scandalous sinnes, knowne sinnes, sinnes often committed, in which they are growne vp, and whereof they haue gotten an habit, are with greater seueritie to be corrected.#

4.A parent must behold his owne faults in correcting his childes: so more compassion will be wrought in him.#

Contrary to this dutie of correcting are two extremes.

1.Too much lenitie.;#

2.Too much seueritie.#

Many so cocker their children, as they will suffer them to [Note 51] run into any misdemeanour, rather then correct them. They cannot endure to heare their children cry: and therefore their children must be pleased in all their humours and euill desires. These parents bring shame to themselues, and mischiefe vpon their children: for God is oft forced to correct such. Heauy are Gods corrections: and oft light on parent and childe both: as appeareth by the iudgement on Eli and his sonnes: for such parents make themselues accessary to their childrens sinnes: yea also to the iudgements laid vpon their children. God saith of such parents, that they honour their children aboue God. It is therefore a fond indulgency which maketh parents regard neither Gods honour, nor their owne or childrens safetie.

Mothers for the most part offend herein, who are so farre from performing this dutie themselues, as they are much offended with their husbands if they doe it. And to proclaime their folly to all the world, they cannot commit their children to a Tutor or Schoole-master, but with a strait charge, that they correct them not.

Obiect. Correction maketh children sots and blocks. Answ. If Gods spirit deserue to haue more credence then such foolish women, that obiection is most false, for we heard [Note 52] before how correction giueth wisdome, and driueth out foolishnesse.

2.Obiect. Mothers may be the more borne with herein, because with long trouble they did beare, and with great trauell bring forth their children. Answ. That may be a good motiue for them to seeke the true good of their children, that so their trouble and trauell may not be in vaine: but not to vphold them in the broad way that leadeth to destruction.#

They who offend in the other extreme of seuerity, of the [Note 53] two are the more vnnaturall parents; they offend directly against the first branch of this text (Prouoke not to wrath.) Nothing more prouoketh then immoderate seuerity: for

1.It argueth no loue in the parent, but rather hatred, at least wrath, and other such like distempered affections.#

2.It softeneth not the childes heart, but hardeneth it rather. [Note 54]#

3.It maketh him dull, and stupid, and cleane peruerteth the right and true end of correction.#

4.It oft maketh a childe thinke of doing some mischiefe to his parent or himselfe.#

That parents may the rather take heed of this extreme, I will briefly note wherein excesse in seueritie is shewed.

It is shewed, when correction is giuen

1.For no fault. In this case, though correction be neuer so light, it is too seuere.#

2.For small faults, in wrath and furie, though the stripes be few and light, yet the parents behauiour is too much seueritie.#

3.To children that are young and tender, or soft, milde and ingenuous, as if they were in some yeeres, the most obstinate and peruerse that could be.#

4.Too often: for euery thing done amisse: whereas parents [Note 55] should seeme not to see or heare many things which they see, and heare.#

5.Too sorely: so as the childe is lamed, or some way so hurt as he shall feele it as long as he liueth.#