Nurture, Manners, and Work

I referre good nurture in part to the temporall good of children, because (as afterwards we shall heare in the particulars) it is an especiall meanes of the outward temporall welfare of the childe euen in this world. Vnlesse this be added to nourishing, wherein doe reasonable men and women exceed vnreasonable beasts? the most cruell beasts that be are very tender (as we heard before) towards their young ones, nourishing them, and prouiding all things needfull for them till they can shift for themselues. But as God hath giuen to man a reasonable soule, an vnderstanding head, capacity, docility and aptnesse to learne, so ought parents to make vse of those parts and gifts, lest for want of vsing them, in time they be lost: and so children proue little better then bruits. In this respect the prouerbe is true, better be vnfed then vntaught. Experience sheweth that good education is better then a great portion. The Holy Ghost doth very much presse this point on parents, as we shall after heare in the particulars. For I will handle these three points.

1.The kindes of nurture.;#

2.The time when it is to be done.;#

3.The meanes of well doing it.#

Contrary to good nurture is too much liberty: which oft bringeth much woe, and vtter ruine vpon children: it is the greatest enemy that can be of good education, and the nurse of all vice Yet many parents care not to let their children liue as they list: all the care they take, is that they be fed and apparelled. This is a common fault both of rich, and of poore parents. The rich pretend that their children need no education, because they haue enough to leaue them: not knowing that education is an especiall meanes to make them keepe and well vse that enough. The poore pretend that they are not able to bring vp their children to any thing: not considering that the Lord by his prouidence hath so ordered the affaires of men, that as there are fit imployments for the greatest, so also [Note 1] for the meanest, which without much cost may be vsed. The fault therefore wholly resteth in the negligence of parents. And if thereupon children fall into any riot, their parents shall answer for it.

The nurturing of children before mentioned consisteth

1.In teaching them good manners.;#

2.In training them vp to a good calling.#

Not only heathen men, and other moralists which were but meere naturall ciuill men, but also the Holy Ghost himselfe hath prescribed many rules of good manners, and much vrged and pressed the same.

1.The word [Note 2] nurture mentioned by the Apostle in this text which we haue in hand, implieth as much: and the phrase which Solomon vseth, [Note 3] Traine vp a childe in the way he should goe: that is, teach him how to order the course of his life.#

2.The many [Note 4] precepts of reuerencing our superiours, and carying our selues with respect one to another, are rules of good manners. Hereof there be very many in scripture.#

3.Those rules are [Note 5] commended by many examples of holy men recorded in Scripture.#

4.Such as haue [Note 6] failed in the rules of good manners, and rudely carried themselues, are reproued by the Holy Ghost.#

Neither is it without good reason that this point is so set forth. For

1.Good manners are a very comely and seemely thing. But [Note 7] it beseemeth Christians to doe all things decently. That decency is not only to be applied to the affaires of Gods Church, but also to the whole course of our life, in which respect we are commanded to walke [Note 8] decently, that is, to order all our actions and the whole course of our life mannerly.#

2.They are a thing of good report, and that both to parents and children: Now we must doe all things that are of good report. [Note 9]#

3.They worke a kinde of delight, and loue, and admiration, in those that behold them, as is noted of the Queene of [Note 10] Sheba when she beheld the comely cariage of Solomons seruants: and of the Egyptians when they beheld the orderly [Note 11] sitting of Iosephs brethren.#

4.They are an outward ornament to piety and religion, and make it to be much more respected: in which respect S. Peter exhorteth beleeuing wiues well to order their conuersation [Note 12] before infidell husbands: and S. Paul exhorteth all sorts of christians to walke decently toward them that are without. [Note 13]#

The Holy Ghost hauing thus vrged the point of good manners, we may not thinke it a meere complementall matter, and a needlesse point, but a bounden duty.

1.Obiect. Religion and grace consisteth not in good manners: many that haue not a sparke of Gods feare in their hearts, are able to carry themselues in their outward behauiour very orderly and mannerly. Answ. Though grace consist not wholly in it, yet cannot grace well be without it: it is a great ornament and comelinesse thereunto. And though mannerlinesse may be seuered from a feare of God, yet Gods feare will not be seuered from it. Restraining grace may be in him who hath no renewing grace: but renewing grace presupposeth restraining grace, euen as reason presupposeth sense, though sense may be without reason. If such as feare not God can carry themselues comely and mannerly, what a shame is it for such as seeme to feare God, not to doe so? shall not those be a witnesse against these?#

2.Obiect. Good manners are an hinderance to grace: they who are most diligent in teaching or practising the one, are commonly most negligent in the other. Answ. This is a meere cauill. Sure I am that grace is no hinderance to good manners. If any make good manners an hinderance to grace, it is their fault.#

3.Obiect. Good manners to grace are as mint, annise and cummin, to the great and weighty things of the law. Answ. Grant it to be so: yet seeing both may stand together, why should they be seuered? Christs rule is this, These things ought ye to haue done, and not to leaue the other vndone. [Note 14]#

4.Obiect. Many that make great shew of religion are very rude, and vnmannerly. Answ. If there be onely a shew of religion in them, no maruell that they haue no manners. If some examples of such as are truly religious and want good manners should be shewed, their patterne is no president, much lesse can it proue that to be no duty which Gods word hath set downe for a duty. Many that well performe some duties, much faile in other duties. Who almost followeth Gods word as he should in euery thing?#

Contrary to parents care in teaching their children good manners, is dissolutenesse: when parents suffer their children to grow vp in rudenesse, not caring how they carry themselues at home or abroad, toward their parents, or toward others. Rude bringing vp maketh children to be of a crooked, peruerse, stubborne, churlish, furly, doggish disposition; as on the other side, good nurture in this kinde breedeth in genuity, amiablenesse, curtesie, and kindnesse. If such as are rudely brought vp be children of professors of the true religion, they bring a staine vpon their profession: yea they dishonour God, as if he were the author of vnmannerlinesse and confusion, against which the Holy Ghost protesteth: and they make [Note 15] themselues and their children a scorne in the eie and mouth of profane persons, who will be ready to point and say, Behold the children of professors, how rudely they are brought vp, and ill taught: they haue not so much as good manners in them.

For auoiding this blemish, Schoole-masters and all such as [Note 16] haue the charge of trayning vp young children, must bean helpe to parents in teaching children good manners.

The second branch of good nurture is a training vp of children vnto a good calling. This charge (traine vp a child in [Note 17] the way that he should go⟦G3⟧) directly condeth to this purpose. This duty hath from the beginning of the world beene performed by parents, and their performance thereof commended by the holy Ghost. Adam brought vp his sonnes to seuerall callings: one was a [Note 18] keeper of sheepe, another a tiller of ground. The like is noted of [Note 19] Iaakobs sonnes, [Note 20] Labans, and [Note 21] Reguels daughters, [Note 22] Ishas sonne, and many others.

Much good may from hence arise to parents themselues, to their children, and to the people and places where such children [Note 23] shall liue.

1.A good calling is an especiall meanes for children to maintaine themselues and family, to releeue those that stand in need, to ease their parents, and (if the need of parents require it) to releeue and maintaine them.#

2.It is that way wherein Gods Angels haue a charge to [Note 24] keepe them while they walke in it.#

3.It is a meanes wherein and whereby they may be seruiceable to the common wealth where they liue.#

4.It is the best place wherein the generall duties of Christianity may be most manifested, and best performed.#

5.It is the best ordinary meanes that can be prescribed to keepe a childe from the vanities of youth, from immoderate pursuit of pleasures, from vnlawfull games, from idlenesse, from ill company, and such like euils; which, as they are sinnes in themselues, so occasions and prouocations to other most ⟦G4⟧grieuous and enormous sinnes, and proue to be the very ⟦G5⟧bane of youth.#

Obiect. Many parents haue good lands to leaue to their children: what need is there of a calling to such? Answ.

1.Much land may soone be consumed by such as haue not skill well to vse it.#

2.Maintenance is but one end of a calling, and that not the chiefest and most principall.#

3.More good may be done by skill in a calling, then by great store of land.#

4.We are borne for others as well as for our selues: it is not therefore sufficient to say I haue enough to maintaine my selfe.#

The point in generall being declared to be a dutie, I will [Note 25] adde some directions for the better performing of it.

1.Children are to be trained vp in those things which are the ground worke of all callings, as reading, writing, and principles of learning. Whatsoeuer the particular calling be, these will be of great vse to any one. Many that haue not beene taught them at first, would giue much for them afterwards. Parents at the first might teach their children those things with much ease and small charge, which afterwards cannot be [Note 26] so well learned, partly for want of leasure, and partly because the parts of those who are growne in yeares are not so fresh and fit to learne, as in child-hood they were. Those things are not to be contemned as small, without which great things cannot stand.#

2.The calling whereunto children are trained vp must be lawfull, approued by Gods word, and not against the generall rules thereof: so may they keepe a good conscience in the exercise thereof.#

3.The calling must be fit for the childe that is trained vp [Note 27] to it. As there are diuers callings, so there are diuers abilities of sundry children: some are fittest for callings of wit and learning: others for callings that require an able and strong body. Wherein the wise disposing prouidence of God is much commended: for thus are men much more vsefull one to another. Now for choise of a fit calling, a childs best ability wherein especially it consisteth, whether in the exercise of minde or of body, is duly to be obserued: and also his inclination, to what calling he is most disposed.#

4.Among fit callings (for there may be many) that which [Note 28] is best and the most excellent is to be preferred. To this purpose not vnfitly may I apply that of the Apostle, ccuet earnestly the best gifts.#

On this ground let parents be exhorted to traine vp such [Note 29] children as they finde fit, to the great and weighty calling of the ministery: no calling wherein any may doe more good, and wherein (if they be able and faithfull Ministers) they can receiue more comfort and contentment. This exhortation is the more to be regarded, because in comparison of those who are trained vp to other callings, so few are trained vp to this.

On the contrary, many parents much offend in not training vp their children to a calling as they should. And the offence in this kinde is committed many waies. As

1.When parents suffer their children to liue like little masters at home, and passe ouer all their youth in idlenesse. Thus they proue very drones, and caterpillars in the common wealth: if they haue a patrimony, they soone waste it: if they haue none, they oft proue either theeues or beggars: they are fit for all companies: the readiest prey for the deuill that can be: for they are like the house empty, swept and garnished, which [Note 30] when the euill spirit espieth, he presently entereth into it with seuen other spirits worse then himselfe.#

The wise law-maker among the heathen is said to order [Note 31] that the childe which by his parents had beene taught no Art, should not be forced to nourish them though they were old or poore. This I all eage not to iustifie the law (for it is against the Christian rule of ouercomming euill with goodnesse) but to shew how the very heathen iudged the neglect of this dutie a great fault in parents.

2.When parents neglect to teach their children in their child-hood the generall and common grounds of all callings: some vpon niggardlinesse; others vpon carelesnesse. Thus poore men make their children vnfit for many meanes, whereby they might well maintaine themselues: and rich men make theirs vnfit for magistracy, and for good society. Yea poore and rich are thus nousled vp the more in ignorance, and made the more vnfit to profit by the preaching of the word, and other meanes of spirituall edification.#

3.When parents bring vp their children in vnwarrantable and vnlawfull callings, as to be of popish and idolatrous orders; to attend vpon papists; to be stage-plaiers, keepers of dice-houses, &c. Some (which is horrible to thinke of) traine vp their daughters to be common strumpets: and some [Note 32] (which is yet more horrible) traine vp their children to be sorcerers and witches. How can they in these keepe a good conscience, when the very workes of their calling are sinne? Is not this to thrust them headlong into hell? They who thus binde their children to the deuils sacrileges are spirituall murtherers of them.#

4.When parents haue no respect at all to the fitnesse of the calling: as when they traine vp children of able bodies, but dull and slow capacity, of a stuttering tongue and other like imperfections, to learning, wherein they proue very dunces, and lose all their time, or are not able to make vse of the learning which they haue: or when they traine vp children which haue a great inclination to learning, and are very fit thereunto, in some other trade, which, after many yeeres speut therein, they are forced to leaue.#

5.When parents only seeke after the most gainfull trade, and neuer thinke to educate their children most to the honour of God. How can such expect Gods blessing vpon the meanes vsed for their childrens good? Hence is it that among Papists so many are trained vp to Ecclesiasticall orders and functions: and so few among Protestants. For there is very great maintenance and reuenues for such among Papists: but little in comparison among Protestants: [Note 33]#