Parents’ Last Words and Estates

The last dutie which parents owe to their children, is, when they cease to be parents: that is, when they are going out of this world. Their dutie at that time in generall is to doe what lieth in them, that it may goe well with their children after their departure. Both [Note 1] the reasons which are oft vrged by the Holy Ghost, to stir vp parents to yeeld obedience to God, taken from extent of Gods blessing (in this kinde of phrase, [Note 2] Blessed shall their children be after them) and Gods [Note 3] promises made to that purpose doe proue as much.

For the better performing of this dutie, three generall points, tending both to the temporall, and also to the spirituall good of children, are to be obserued: and two particular points most tending to their temporall estate.

The three generals are these.

1.Good direction.;#

2.Faithfull prayer.;#

3.A wise choise of some friends to be as parents to them.#

1.[Note 4] For direction. When parents obserue their time to draw neere, they ought to commend some wise and wholsome precepts vnto their children, the better to direct them in their Christian course. So did [Note 5] Isaak, and [Note 6] Iaakob.#

Ob. These Patriarchs had an extraordinarie spirit of prophecying, & by vertue thereof foretold their children things to come.

Answ. [Note 7] They sustained a double person: one of a prophet, another of a father: as prophets, they had an extraordinarie spirit; as parents, they performed ordinarie dutie: by their extraordinarie spirit, they foretold things to come: the ordinarie dutie which they performed, was to direct their children how to carrie themselues in those times to come. For their prophesies were not only predictions, but also instructions, to direct and teach them what to doe. What they did by an extraordinarie spirit in extraordinarie things, we must doe in ordinarie duties by the ordinarie spirit of vnderstanding and wisdome which the Lord giueth vs. But the direction which [Note 8] Isaak gaue to Iaakob, when he sent him to Laban, was no extraordinarie prophesie: nor that which [Note 9] Dauid, when he was old, gaue to Solomon: and againe, [Note 10] when he lay on his death-bed. Now these things are thus written for our imitation. And great reason there is to imitate those holy men in these things. For

1.The words of a dying parent are commonly most regarded: his last words doe make a deepe impression ( [Note 11] this doe the brethren of Ioseph presse vpon him.) If euer therefore there be a time seasonable for a parent to giue good instructions to his children, then is the time when parents are cleane departing from their children.#

2.Thus shall a parent manifest his true affection, and earnest desire of his childrens good: for now they cannot thinke that he seeketh his owne ease, and profit, more then their good: as at other times some will be ready to say of their parents instructions and admonitions, Our parents know what is good for themselues.#

That the last words of parents may be the more seasonably and [Note 12] profitably deliuered to their children, they must note, on the one side, what euils their children are most prone vnto, what temptations they are most assaulted withall, what snares they are most like to fall into; and on the other side, what vertues and graces are most needfull for them, and wherein they faile most, and accordingly they must order and frame their last words. Note for a patterne herein [Note 13] Isaaks counsell to Iaakob, when he sent him to Laban, and thought he should neuer see him againe: and [Note 14] Dauids to his sonne Solomon.

II.Concerning the prayers of parents for their children, I noted it [Note 15] before to be a generall dutie neuer to be omitted: yet here in particular I mention it againe, because a parents blessing consisteth therein especially: and then is the most proper time for parents to bestow a blessing on their children, as [Note 16] Isaak, [Note 17] Iaakob, [Note 18] Dauid, and others did. Let parents therefore as they commend their owne soules into Gods hand, so commend their children vnto Gods grace and blessing. Gods prouidence is a good inheritance: many children doe thereby exceedingly prosper, though they haue but small outward meanes; whereas others that haue great meanes vsed for their good, come to ruine; Gods curse following them. Now no such meanes can be thought of to procure Gods blessing, or to with-hold his curse, as the faithfull prayers of parents for their children; especially when parents are leauing their children, and going to God.#

III.The third generall point of making choise of some faithfull friends to commend their children vnto, is especially in behalfe of such as are not of sufficient age and discretion to looke to themselues, or to those weightie affaires which belong vnto them. The friends, which in this case are made choise of, ought to be such as the parents themselues by good experience haue found to be honest, wise, faithfull, and louing to them and theirs; whom parents are to set in their owne place for the good of their children. This meanes did Dauid vse when he was old in the behalfe [Note 19] of his sonne Solomon. Many children haue found much helpe thereby. Such may make a good supply of the departure of parents. These are so much the more needfull, by how much the more vnstable, and vnbridled youth is; and by how much the lesse able children are to helpe and guide themselues.#

Contrary to a parents prouidence for the good of his children after his departure, is the carelesnesse of parents for the time to come. They thinke the world is gone with them when they are gone, and therefore they will take no thought for the future times that shall be after them; as if it were enough for euery one to looke to his owne time. There may seeme to be more selfe-loue in such parents then loue of their children, in that their care determineth with their owne time, and extendeth not it selfe to the time and continuance of their children. Hence is it, that not a word of direction and exhortation commeth out of their mouths to their children when they are departing, no blessing that they will leaue behinde them, no friends shall be deputed by them, to be as parents to their children. Let God prouide, say they. But where there is a referring of matters to Gods prouidence, without the vse of those meanes which God hath warranted and commended by his word, there can be little hope that God should take care of that which is so commended to him. Such men doe not in faith depend vpon Gods prouidence, but make the very name thereof a pretext to cast off that care, which God as a bounden dutie requireth of them. As there is little loue of their children in such parents, so there is lesse zeale of Gods glory: for a parents care of his childrens welfare, especially of their continuing to feare and serue the Lord after their owne departure out of this world, is an especiall meanes of preseruing Gods feare in the world, and propagating it from age to age: so as this neglect is a greater fault then many are aware of.

The two particular things to be obserued by parents for manifestation of their prouident care ouer their children for the time to come, euen after their departure, especially in regard of their temporall estate, are these,

1.That they make a will.;#

2.That they leaue their estates to their children.#

1.It hath beene an ancient commendable practise both among [Note 20] Gods people, and others also, that haue beene guided with common ciuilitie, when they who haue any estate, waxe old, or sicke, and haue any occasion of expecting death offered vnto them, to make their last Will and testament. This is set forth in the old Testament vnder this phrase (Put thy house in order.) A dutie it is expresly [Note 21] commanded by God: and that not without good reason. For#

1.A parents Will is an especiall meanes to settle peace among children after his departure, and to make them content with that allowance which he hath set out vnto them, because by the Will they know it was their fathers pleasure they should haue such and such a portion. If controuersies should arise, yet a Will is a meanes for the law speedily to determine the same without any tedious and chargeable suits: for the Apostle taketh it for a ruled case, that no man disanulleth or addeth any thing to a mans' testament. [Note 22]#

2.After a parent hath made his Will, he may the more quietly settle himselfe for heauenly contemplations, and preparations to death: and thinke of such good instructions as are most fit to giue as his farewell to his children: and the more willingly expect the moment of his dissolution: and the more patiently submit himselfe to the very stroke of death.#

In performing this dutie, a man must both obserue a fit time, [Note 23] and also take good aduice. The fit time is while his vnderstanding is good, and his memorie perfect: so as he may call to minde his debts, what he oweth, and what is owing to him: as also what goods he hath to bestow, and with discretion and wisdome order his estate. And because through the cauils which many vnconscionable lawyers and others are like to make, his true meaning may be peruerted, it is meet to haue the aduice of such as can in distinct words and phrases so expresse his meaning, as they shall be free from exception. Matters of weight are wisely to be managed.

Contrary is the daily practise of too many parents who are not willing to make any will at all: or else on vaine hope that they may liue longer, and when they are sicke, vpon conceit that they may recouer, or at least longer continue to enioy the vse of their vnderstanding and memory, put off the making of their Will till it be too late: and so die without Will, or make such a Will as ministreth more matter of sute, then if they had no Will at all; either because doubt is made whether he that made it had his vnderstanding and memory or no: or because his Will is so abrupt and ambiguous, as his meaning cannot be knowne. The mischiefes that follow these neglects, [Note 24] are many. As

1.Discredit to the partie deceased.;#

2.Contentions among his suruiuing children.;#

3.Wasting a great part, if not his whole estate, in suits of law.;#

4.Defeating many creditors of their due debt.#

The reason which maketh many to put off the making of their Will is a foolish conceit, that if a mans Will be once made, then he must needs die out of hand. But what ground haue men for any such conceit? If sicknes grow vpon a man, so long as his Will is vnmade his minde is vnsetled, his minde being vnsetled, the physicke that is ministred to him cannot so kindly worke; so as his death may be the more hastened for not making a Will. Besides, if his speech faile before his vnderstanding, the thought that then he shall die without a Will may so perplex him, as his departure will be very vnquiet and troublesome.

It was [Note 25] before shewed that parents were to lay vp a portion for their children against their entrance into a calling, and mariage: There is a further duty required when they are going out of the world, namely that they leaue their whole estate [Note 26] to their children. (Where I say whole, I exempt not workes of charity, nor payment of debts, which is a point of iustice, but I include more then is giuen as portions or stockes in their life time.) That estate especially which parents haue receiued from their progenitors are they most bound to leaue vnto their children. It is expresly recorded that Abraham gaue all [Note 27] that he had to Isaak. Gods law did prouide for this among the Iewes: for a man might not sell his land to cut it off from [Note 28] his posterity. This was it that made Naboth refuse to sell his vineyard to Ahab, as his answer implieth, God forbid that I [Note 29] should giue the inheritance of my fathers vnto thee: because it was the inheritance of his fathers, that is, he had receiued it from them, he thought it vnlawfull to depriue his children of it. This phrase (if children, then heires) taketh it for a granted [Note 30] truth that children haue a right to their parents estate: and if they haue a right thereto, they may not be defeated thereof.

God giueth wealth vnto parents but for their life time: in which time they are but as Guardians vnto Gods children, and are accountable to God: so as they haue not an absolute power to doe with it what they will, but according to the directions of the great Lord and Master they must vse it, reserue it, and leaue it.

For this end parents must order their manner of liuing according [Note 31] to that portion which the Lord hath appointed vnto them, and by his prouidence bestowed vpon them; they must (as it is said in the prouerbe) cut their coat according to their cloth. Of the two it is much better for parents to liue vnder, then aboue their meanes. Prouided that they neglect no duty of charitie, or iustice: nor through miserablenesse and niggardlinesse carry themselues vnbeseeming the place wherein God hath set them, and estate which he hath bestowed vpon them. He that liueth somewhat vnder his meanes, hath opportunitie to lay vp portions for other children (if he haue many) and to reserue his inheritance intire to his eldest (beside many other good workes of charity as God shall offer occasion) which he that liueth aboue his meanes cannot doe.

Contrary to this branch of a parents prouidence, are many courses of improuident parents: For

1.Some parents lauish and bezell out all their estate in their owne life time, making it to determine in their persons. Vnworthy they are to receiue any inheritance from ancestors. Their fault is double.#

1.In spending prodigally aboue their estate.#

2.In wronging their children, and depriuing them of their right: for particular persons succeding one another are but as diuers linkes of a continued family, which are by Gods prouidence added one to another: this chaine is not to be broken at any mans pleasure; but for the preseruation thereof, that which hath beene receiued of the predecessors, must be left to the successors.#

2.Others leaue their estate to their children, but so incumbred with debts, bonds, recognizances, and statutes, as their children were better be without it, then haue it. For the hauing it maketh them liue at an answerable rate, and bringeth many burdens vpon them: besides, the debts wherein they stand obliged make them as [Note 32] seruants to their creditors: and in time they must be forced to sell all, or as captiues lie in prison.#

3.Others though they deale not so hardly with their children, yet they deale too hardly by peeling and polling their inheritance as much as they can: they wil not forbeare to make any present gaine that they can, though it tend neuer so much to the preiudice and dammage of their children after them: as they who cut downe all the timber and wood that they can, and take out all the heart of their land.#

4.Among these may be reckoned such parents as by meere negligence suffer things to goe to decay for want of timely reparations: whereby it commeth to passe, that such dammages as in the parents time might haue beene preuented with laying out a few shillings, cannot be renewed with many pounds.#

5.Such also as care not in their life time to cleere the titles of those things which they leaue to their children: but leaue all things so vnsetled and litigious, as it oft costs children more in suit of law to maintaine the inheritance which their parents leaue them, then the inheritance is worth: and yet after all their paines and cost lose the inheritance too: whereas the parent that knew more then the childe can, might with small paines and charge haue well setled and cleered all.#

These are mischiefes that many children haue beene brought into by the improuidence of their parents: which are the rather to be made knowne, that such as come after, may proue the more prouident for their children.